Why You Feel Overwhelmed and Can’t Get Started (Even When It Matters)

I sat down to write my very first blog today… and immediately didn’t want to.

Not because I don’t have anything to say. My head is full of ideas. But the second something feels like it matters — like I should do it — I feel that familiar sense of overwhelm creeping in. The kind that makes it weirdly difficult to even get started.

So here I am, writing a blog… about not being able to write a blog.

I know I’m not the only one who feels like this.

There’s a lot of conversation at the moment around ADHD and how it can show up as overwhelm, procrastination, and difficulty starting tasks. There’s also increasing awareness of how perimenopause and menopause can affect focus, memory, and mental clarity.

But even outside of all of that, life is busy. Demanding. Full.

And sometimes, that’s enough. Or maybe I mean....and sometimes, that's too much.

For me, it tends to look like this:

I know something matters.

I feel the pressure to do it well.

My brain gets overwhelmed.

I avoid it.

I do other things (often I'm very productive — just not doing the thing).

Time passes.

Pressure builds.

And then, at the last minute, I do it....often too late at night.

And it works. Which is the frustrating part.

But the cost is high — stress, tiredness, and that lingering feeling of “why do I keep doing this to myself?”

What It Actually Looks Like (for me, anyway)

A page full of lists, a blank screen in front of me — and that quiet moment where everything feels important, and nothing quite begins.

I am a list person.

I have ongoing lists, and then I have my “this absolutely has to be done tomorrow” list. I’ll even go as far as putting little asterisks next to the most important things, like — these are the ones.

And then I come down in the morning, look at that list… and pick something else.

Still something “useful”, still productive — but not the thing(s) with the asterisk.

And I’ll do it brilliantly. Thoroughly. Completely.

Then something else will pop into my head while I’m doing it… so I’ll go and do that. And that leads to something else, and something else.

Before I know it, I’ve started five things, been busy all day, and when I go back to my list, I can maybe tick one thing off.

It’s productive… but it’s not effective.

And it’s exhausting.

Perfectionism Doesn’t Help Either

I’ve also realised how much perfectionism feeds into all of this.

It shows up in simple ways — like looking around the house and thinking, that needs doing, that needs doing, that needs doing…and then not starting any of it, because I don’t have the time or energy to do it all perfectly.

So nothing gets done.

It shows up in bigger ways too.

With this blog, for example, it’s not just “write the blog”. My brain goes straight to:

Where will it go?

Do I need content around it?

Who’s going to read it?

Is it good enough?

Am I saying the right things?

And suddenly, what should be one task has become many.

So I sit there, pen in hand, already overwhelmed… and decide to come back to it later.

This is where I apply a phrase that has become really important for me:

Done is better than perfect.

Not because I don’t care — but because if something never gets finished, it never gets seen. And if it never gets seen, it can’t help anyone.

Also, if I’m really honest… the only person judging most of this is me.

Other people might notice some imperfection briefly — but they’re not carrying it around all day like I am.

What’s Actually Going On

This isn’t just about procrastination or “not being disciplined enough”. A lot of this is how our nervous system responds to pressure.

When something feels big, important, or unclear, the brain can interpret that as threat. And instead of moving into action, we go into avoidance or freeze.

Then urgency comes along — a deadline, a time limit — and suddenly there’s enough activation to override your stress response. Which is why so many of us end up working at the last minute.

It’s not that we can’t do it. It’s that we struggle to start it.

What Helps When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed and Can’t Get Started

If you’ve ever found yourself feeling overwhelmed and unable to get started, you’ll probably recognise this pattern. So let me tell you some of the ways I'm working with it. I'm not doing it perfectly. And not every time. And that's okay. But these are helping.

Breaking things down properly

Instead of “write blog and create content”, it becomes:

– come up with an idea

– make some notes

– write a few messy sentences

– write the blog

– think about content after

One step at a time. Not all at once. Many more actions added to and crossed off the list!

Removing decision pressure

Deciding when I’ll do something, and what “good enough” looks like, before I start.

Working with urgency (without the stress)

Short bursts. Timers. Giving myself just enough pressure to begin.

And easing off the pressure I put on myself

Because almost all of it is coming from me.

Things can matter… without needing to be perfect.

Supporting Your Nervous System (Not Just Your To-Do List)

Sometimes the most helpful thing isn’t pushing through. It’s pausing.

Stepping outside. Breathing. Moving your body. Letting your system settle. Nature helps — more than I sometimes want to admit.

And alongside that, I’ve been leaning into more intentional practices.

Rainbow Fluorite supports clarity, focus, and the organisation of thoughts, helping move out of confusion or overwhelm into a more structured and manageable mindset

Working with crystals like fluorite for clarity and focus, blue sandstone for helping to reduce self-doubt and encourage a more positive, forward-looking mindset, or black obsidian for clear boundaries and protection from overwhelming influences.

Blue Sandstone supports focus, ambition, and a steady sense of direction, helping to reduce self-doubt and encourage a more positive, forward-looking mindset

Not as a fix — but as support.

Grounding has also been particularly powerful.

For me, that looks like sitting with intention — not rigid, but holding my posture. Being present and aware of the moment.

Then imagining a root growing down from the base of my spine, through the chair, through the floor, deep into the earth. Wrapping around the core of the earth, anchoring me.

From there, I imagine energy rising back up — steady, calm, supportive.

It gives my mind a focus, which stops it from spiralling off in ten different directions. It fills me with stabalising energy and brings me back into the moment.

And from there, things feel more possible.

Setting an Intention (Without Judgement)

Something else I’ve been practising is setting an intention before I start.

Not from a place of pressure or criticism — but from alignment.

Then it’s not about forcing an outcome, it’s about gently guiding how I show up to the process.

A Gentle Reminder (for you and for me)

Less perfection.

Less trying to do everything at once.

And more of this:

One step.

One small start.

One thing, done imperfectly.

Because sometimes, that’s all it takes to shift everything.

And if you’re finding your way through this too, you’re always welcome to explore that space with me — whether that’s through a session, or simply taking a moment to pause, breathe, and begin.